Ashley Magnus, Girl Scout
by Chocolate and Drama
Summary: Ashley gets signed up for Girl Scouts, and it soon becomes apparent she's not Eagle Scout material. But when danger appears on a hiking trip, will Ashley be able to help prevent the cookie sellers from becoming bear chow?
1. Girl Scouts, Alena and Yarn

Ashley was not pleased. Her outfit was itching, the scoutmaster was droning, and she was soooo bored. Surrounded by goody-goody-two-shoes who looked eager, constantly straightening and smoothing their outfit and saying the GS's pledge with vigor. She was to lazy to say Girl Scouts, so she shortened it to GS. Privately, because abbreviating Boy Scouts would turn up a very naughty word. She hated Girl Scouts. Her mom had signed her up, in an effort to make her more social.

* _flash back _*

" I have a social life! I have lots of friends!"

" Human friends Ashley!"

* _end flash back_*

Oh joy, craft time. Fuuuuun. She looked at the yarn. _And so we meet again._

_* flashback *_

"HENRY! HEEEEELP!"

" Oh. My. God. Were you attacked by a giant spider or something?"

" Umm..... no. It's yarn. I was trying to knit."

".......... Hey Doc!"

_* end flash back * _

" Ummmm, Ashley right? Why are you looking at the yarn like that?"

She looked up from her maniacal staring. There was a girl who was giving her a funny look ( That's normal for her, but she was actually talking to Ashley! And not yelling for a SWAT team! )

" Oh... I just hate , with a vigorous, burning passion."

" Ah. What did yarn ever do to you?"

_* flashback *_

" Ow, that HURTS!"

" Ashley, how could you get stuck to the fan while trying to knit?"

"I'm not quite sure."

* end flash back *

" More then you hopefully know."

" Ah. So... I'm Alena. You're Ashley, right?"

" Yep."

" And you don't want to be here."

"Yep."

" And you have violent tendencies."

" Yep...... What?"

" There's a gun in your bag."

".......... You are either brilliant or evil. Or both. But please don't rat me out, I promise I'm not going to kill anyone and I just-"

" S' Okay, I'm carrying a slingshot. My theology is rocks are more annoying then bullets. Or chunks of concrete, if people annoy me too much."

" You're cool."

" Same."

And they shook hands and Girl Scouts just got a bit more bearable.

**A/N** HA! TBC! I swear, more' s coming. Plot Nubbin was gifted to me by DZR! Now..... I'm going to go to bed....... To be continued sooooon. And two other plot Nubbins should be up soon, because if I don't let them go soon, THEY SHALL EAT MY BRAIN! Did I mention it's bedtime.....? Yeah, I'm tired.


	2. But yarn is allergic to me!

Luckily talking to Alena took up craft time. Whenever a scoutmaster came by to monitor their progress, they always pretended to be working. They managed to skive by, until the end.

" Ashley, you haven't touched your yarn, is something wrong?"

" Yes. I'm afraid my mother didn't mention it, but yarn is deathly allergic to me. If I try to do anything with it, it starts to try to strangle me."

" Your Mom didn't mention anything about it in the forms..."

" My Mom must have forgotten the one time I tried to knit, and ended up wrapped like fly in a spider's web."

" I don't think so. Here, I'll help."

The scoutmaster proceeded to go into a long-winded explanation about the finer points of lanyard-weaving. Ashley huffed, they better have some scissors near by. Alena just smirked.

" Now you try."

" Fine."

Within three minutes Ashley's hands were tied together. The scoutmaster had freaked out, and once they had cut her lose, she had been exempted from any projects that remotely involved yarn. Alena had laughed herself silly. Then the scoutmaster had droned about next meeting, said a stupid poem, and they had been freed. Her Mom was waiting outside in the car.

" How'd it go?" She asked, face twisted with worry.

" Calm down Mom, I'm allowed back next week."

" Thank goodness."

Her Mother had been over the moon when Ashley talked about her new friend. Ashley quickly decided not to tell her that Alena liked violence as much as Ashley did, and that Ashley had taken her gun to Girl Scouts. She had only just been allowed to learn, and she didn't want the privilege revoked.

Girl Scouts wasn't so bad. It was even better when Big Guy to celebrate the fact she was allowed back, hadn't set anything on fire, and hadn't shot anything. How he knew she had taken her gun she would never know, but he seemed to agree with the GS's motto, always be prepared.

Girl Scouts wasn't too bad. If only Henry would stop with the cookie jokes.

**A/N ** I hardly ever put a disclaimer on my stories. I mean, seriously, if they had such a problem with copyright, they would have shut down fanfiction. But, still, I didn't own Girl Scouts, Sanctuary, or the idea for this fic. Thanks to DZR for the copyright rights to the idea, to my little sis Emily for telling me about girl scouts, and to ancient farm people for inventing yarn so I could create the gag in this story. Alena is in little way related to my very sweet friend Alena, even though I wasn't thinking of her when I named the OC Alena. The only similarities they share is their names are spelled the same and they're both really COOL. This chappie dedicated to Fell4, who left a freakin' awesome review. For the record, i NEVER get enough sleep. In fact I should be asleep right now!


	3. I officially love combat boots!

Girls Scouts was going pretty well. She had been allowed back, which was rather rare when she tried social activities, (Apparently her Kindergarten teacher were not as excited about a bonfire in the classroom) On her second week at Girl Scouts, when she discovered her undying love for glitter glue, the scout master made a chilling announcement.

" Our annual weekend camping trip is coming up soon. For all of you who asked, no, there are no bears where we will be hiking. If you happen to wander off, then that's another story."

Such a kind person, their scoutmaster.

Anyway glitter- WAIT A MINUTE. Camping? With a bunch of girls? In the wilderness? She could deal with roughing it with her mom and Henry, but there they would be working on all sorts of things like ' wood chopping' and 'putting OUT your campfire' ( the rangers are still mad at her Mom) and WORST OF ALL ' hard work'! Her mom was a terrible camper, so most of the things were pre -packaged, but Girl Scouts would surely be not as kind. eh, at least since her Mom wasn't going, she wouldn't have to worry about packing a fire extinguisher.

There was some small ray of hope. Her mom, ecstatic about her daughter's ' first real camping trip!' had loaded her down with everything. She could probably survive a month comfortably with everything. Bug spray, sunscreen, water purifiers, matches ( in a child- lock container so Ashley wouldn't be tempted) , enough jerky for all of Calcutta, and more were loaded into her bag. She would have to re-pack after her mom had checked it. Did her dear mother miss the fact that she would have to be carrying the bag 5 miles there and back? At least she was more supportive then Henry, who just laughed and handed her some beef jerky that was at least ten years old. But the good thing was,the camping trip was three days away from his lame jokes. Honestly, if she heard ' the one about the duck, the skunk, and the giraffe' she was going to shoot somebody.

She had zoned out her Mother's excited chatter ( honestly.. Helen Magnus, chatter? Ashley was starting to get scared.) she didn't notice her mom start to put something on her feet. What she did notice was the wonderful feeling of bliss her feet slid into once the things were on.

" What are_ these_?"

" Combat boots. They're not hiking boots but they'll work just as well. They'll stand up to wear better then hiking boots so they'll last longer..........."

She zoned out the rest of her Mom's talking as a goofy smile came over her face. She officially _loved _combat boots.


	4. It's probably not illegal

The bus ride over had been fun. Her and Alena had burst many eardrums with their rendition of ' 99 bottles of beer on the wall.'  
They had set up camp, setting up their tent was a bit of an event..... but they managed to get it up in the end. The counselors were thrilled that someone actually wanted to sleep with Alena, because bad thing usually happened when others had tried. But when they had been set to one outdoorsy task to be done before dinner, that's where the trouble started. Alena had been sent off with a group of girls ( How Ashley pitied those girls!) to try to catch some fish without using a fancy fishing pole. Alena had admitted she was going to try to catch fish without any fishing pole at all. Ashley had been set to chop some wood. It wasn't much, the ax wasn't heavy, and she started feeling confident. That ended quickly.  
She had first tried with force. The ax slipped and the force spun it around so it got lodged in a nearby tree. She then had to get the help of a passing scout to get it un-lodged. She then placed it right above the log, and bringing it down, and this time it slipped and landed on the grass, beheading a bird who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
" AHH!"  
" What's the matter Ashley!?"  
" I KILLED THE BIIIIRDIEEE!"  
It took a half hour for her to calm down. The bird probably had little birdie babies and a birdie husband and little birdie friends and it was all her fault it was dead! Sniff.... at least it was dinner time. The smell of roasting fish made her mouth water. She dried her eyes and quickly made her way down to the fire pit, glad Henry had not been there to see her. He would have made fun of her forever. Alena had a huge bunch of fish slung over her back, and she was sopping wet but had a huge grin plastered on her face.  
" No pole?"  
" No pole. I got two other girls wet to, you should have heard them scream. Actually you may have. I think I heard some birds scatter."  
Birds...... Hopefully Alena wouldn't think to poor of her once she heard. She felt like such a monster.  
The combination of crying so hard, such good fish, and fatigue had made Ashley so sleepily she drifted off almost as soon as she hit the pillow. She woke when she heard rustling and saw Alena up, dressed entirely in black, and pulled on white gloves.  
" What are the gloves for?"  
" So there won't be any fingerprints."  
" Okay. G'Night."  
" Sleep tight Ash."  
And with that Alena crept out of the tent, and Ashley went back to sleep.

A/N Sorry it took me so long. The chapter wouldn't cooperate and I've been very busy. I finally had some time today so I wrote it, but then I had a bucket load of schoolwork ( which I still haven't finished......) so I didn't post it until evening. Dedicated to the always cool DZR.


	5. Classic!

On their way to the flag raising ceremony the next morning, Alena leaned over and whispered in Ashley's ear  
" If anybody asked, I was in our tent, asleep, all night."  
Ashley frowned, about to ask her friend what happened, but her question was answered when she saw the flag pole. Dozens of pairs of underwear waved merrily from it. Classic. she turned to Alena who quickly put a finger to her lips and put on a calm expression. A counselor quickly called her over and Ashley put the pieces together. Alena was good. Ashley had already scanned the line of underwear and found none that belonged to her, so she would keep her lips sealed about the culprit. The other girls were having difficulty getting their under things down. Excellent. Alena jogged back over after a calm exchange with the frazzled counselor, and smirked at Ashley.  
" Like it?"  
" It's brilliant. Totally classic."  
" They've been suspecting me for years, but they can't pin anything on me. Last year they started dusting for fingerprints, and next year I think they're going to either install security cameras or keep the undies on lock down. " Alena faced suddenly turned a mixture of earnest and worried. " I didn't put yours up there."  
" I know."  
The dark haired girl relaxed, and Ashley's stomach flipped. Because of her straight forward manner, mischievous tendencies and almost utter disregard for the rules, Alena didn't look like she had many friends. Ashley didn't either. She made a silent pact to stick by this girl, whether or not her panties were next in the line up.  
The sizzling scent of bacon hit Ashley's nose and a goofy grin spread across her face as she inhaled the delightful smell of the carsenigenic- filled strips of pork. Alena perked up to.  
" Bacon!"  
" Bacon!"  
" Race you!" Ashley felt utterly carefree as she shrieked when Alena closed in on her, proving to be faster then she thought, and the two friends raced to the breakfast hall.


	6. Wood shop and Swimming lessons

Ashley and Alena skied happily, full of bacon, to the next activity. Wood shop, ooh fun! Actually, everything seemed fun when they had just had bacon. Bird House. Should be easy enough.

After a minute of sadness in memory of the birdie, ( Alena had completely understood, admitting she had accidently burned a bird's nest when she was gathering kindling for the bonfire.) they had started on their bird house.

" Excuse me Mr. ScoutMaster Filbert_ sir_ but I seemed to have run out of materials. Also we were missing some. Actually we are missing a whole lot of materials..."

" Like what dear?"

" Well first we need more wood."

" But we were making them with popsicle sticks... and I thought we gave you more then enough."

" Popsicle sticks? Huh. Well, then I suppose you don't have any mini hot tubs and leather recliners?"

" No. No we don't."

" Hey Alena! I think we were mistaken!"

A short swimming class before Lunch sounded absolutely swimingly. Ha ha! That was punny! Anyway.... swimming. It was actually pretty boring. She had learn most of the moves with her mother the summer they went to Morocco. But the real fun had started when at the end the woman had made the announcement.

" Alright children, before we head to Lunch, we're going to have a contest! Who can hold their breath underwater the longest! On three, let's start! One, two, three!"

Ashley dunked under the water quickly, with a grin on her face. One of her Mom's employees in the Morocco Sanctuary was an ex-marine, and he had taught her a few tricks.

A minute passed as most of the girls surfaced. She sat on the sand, fiddling with the pebbles. Another minute and all the girls but Alena and her had quit. Another two minutes and one of girls dunked back under to make sure they were okay. Approaching seven minutes and they heard the scout master's worried voice, saying they could come up now. Eight minutes and they heard the girls voices wondering if they were mermaids or something. Nine minutes and still going strong, they surfaced, because they wondered if the leftover bacon from breakfast was going to be used in sandwiches for lunch. The girls, impressed, asked how they could stay under the water for so long. Mad skills, they answered, but when they were drying off and heading to lunch, Alena leaned in and whispered

" Dad in the Navy."

" Mom's employee ex-marine."

A quick grin and a fist-bump and they were on their way.

A/N Had my first communion on Sunday. Yay!

Shout out to my readers in the Czech Revar! If you live in the Czech Revar, and are reading this PLEASE review and tell me... basically that you are one of my four fans in the Czech Revar....... I don't know. I just thinks that is really cool, cuz I haven't even herd of the Czech Revar so I was wowed when I read the visitor country thing.

This chappie dedicated to the Slovakian reader, cuz Slovakia is just fun to say.

Slovakia.

Slovakia.

Tee hee! Slovakia!

Slooooovaaaakkkkiiiaaaaa...............


	7. New enemies outsmarted

It was after lunch, and Ashley was going to have a quick shower to wash the sea water out of her hair. As she was heading to the bathroom to get her towel, she heard some mutterings

'"We'll grab her clothes while she's in the shower and hide them on the pier. Hee hee we're like, so awesome!"

The mutterings belonged to a grab of girls who were grinning their heads off and staring at her. Ashley prevented an evil smile from spreading across her face.

Nina's POV ( please bear through the stupidity of her thoughts)

Huh huh, Stacy was like, awesome when she came up with that idea to get back that Ashley kid. I mean, she must be part mermaid to stay underwater that long. And she's too like, popular. She's so talented at stuff, and she's buddy- buddy with that freak Alena. She has to be put down.

Ohmigod, now she's gonna find out her clothes are missing and- Wait, what?! She's in her swimsuit!

" Down at the pier then ladies? Cheerio!"

Na- oh- she- DIDN"T! She just smirked and walked out in her swimsuit! She heard us? But we were like, being quiet and stuff!

" Guys, she scares me!" Brittany whined. I sorta agreed with her. Stacy rolled her eyes.

"Mark my words, we will get her! "

A/N i think I might do a chappie in Alena's POV next time. What do y'all think? The next update will probably be soon cuz I'm bored out of my mind and I don't want to do homework.


	8. It's like, a trojan horse and stuff

Alena had watched the exchange between the girls with smirk. She quickly fist bumped the blond who was wearing an equal smirk.

" Smooth."

" Thanks."

" So.... have you packed for the hiking trip?"

" Hiking trip?"

" Yep."

" I dunno... what are we doing on the hiking trip?"

" Riding on mopeds."

" Really?!"

" No. We're hiking."

" Har har har har, very funny! No, really. "

" Well, we hike. It's why they call it a hiking trip. Then we pitch camp. Then we go to sleep." Then Alena let out a derisive snort, as if sleeping was an unfathomable excersise. " Then we hike back to camp. we stop along the way for waterfalls and that sort of thing. It's pretty cool."

Ashley nodded, a bit excited. Finally, she would be able to use all the camping crap her Mom bought her. Or at least a fair portion of it.

Nina walked up to the cabin and knocked. She shifted her weight from foot to foot nervously as a hassled voice called 'coming!'. She didn't really want to go along with Stacey anymore, because some of the pranks she was planning on pulling were really mean. She liked a good joke, but she didn't want to hurt anybody. Besides, Ashley looked like the type that could prank someone back with ease. Rumors were that her mom was some really rich millionaire, but no one was sure what she did for a living. Her unusually smart thoughts were cut short when Alena answered then door.

" Myes?" Nina gulped. Alena was legendary for her pranks, and for never getting caught. Ashley mixed with Alena was bad news, and Nina knew she had to get on the right side of it before it turned nasty on her.

" So... can I like, talk to Ashley and stuff?"

" Depends."

" I swear, I'm not like, gonna prank her. But Stacey and Brittany and the rest are! They're gonna like, do bad stuff and stuff."

"Like?"

Oops. She had come before she could figure out what they were going to do.

" Ummm, I like, don't know yet, but when I do, I'll tell you, kay?"

" Trojan Horse."

" What?"

" Never mind. Fine, thanks."

" Okaaay." Nina stepped off the porch steps as the door closed. Maybe that had gone well. She didn't know.

A/N I said I would update soon. It's been Five days. * bows head in shame * I said I would do a chappie in Alena's POV. This is not it.

Snaps go to the lovely DZR who reminded me I had not updated, in a very nice, gentle way. ( Not.) But without her, this chapter would have come much later.

Anyway... I've got to go clean my room.... Later.

Does anybody listen to the Sanctuary episode commentary? It's really cool! It's on Itunes, and Amanda, Damien and the rest do very funny commentary on the second season. I get all choked up when I listen to EON pt. 2, for obvious reasons. BUT SHE"S COMING BACK! * sob *


	9. Painted balls

Audrey looked nervously around the forest. She was very surprised she hadn't been shot down yet. Surely some one would have picked her off by now. She wasn't the most athletic or popular person. And why hadn't Alena or that Ashley kid picked her off by now? She had seen them from a distance swing in a vine and shoot down three kids and disappeared into the distance within thirty seconds. Paint ball, why on earth did they have to play paint ball? Maybe something like a scavenger hunt, which she would be good at, but no, it had to be paint ball.  
" You there!"  
She whirled around and saw Ashley, looking slightly crazed, but with not drop of paint on her. She clutched her paint ball gun like a real one. It was scary.  
" Mortal! We need your aid!"  
".... What?"  
Alena dropped fro the tree behind her. She started to scream, but Ashley covered her mouth. What the heck was going on?  
" Hi Audrey. Sorry for Ashley's behavior. She's had one too many skittles, and paint ball really doesn't help. " The ebony-haired girl glared at her comrade who was glancing at a group of un- paint balled girls with a look of longing. Alena sighed.  
" FINE! But be careful. We still need to pull down Brittany's gang." The blond gave a maniacal laugh, which quickly morphed into a war call. She dashed away, and a distant scream came over the horizon, followed by the sound of paint balls hitting their target, followed by the maniacal laugh again. Audrey looked back at Alena, who was looking like a cross between G.I . Joe and Buddeciala. She gulped fearfully.  
" Right. We need your help Audrey."  
" For what?"  
" We need your brains."  
" My... what!?"  
" No, not literally! I mean, normally Ashley is the mastermind behind our operations, but like I said she's had one too many skittles. She's also rather evil and illogical, and while most of the time I'm able to catch the mistakes, but not always. we've almost been caught one to many times. I have very little mind for logic, mostly I'm the supplier, and you're way more logical. So... will you help? We'll make sure you are safe."  
" Cool! Yeah, of course!" Audrey felt ecstatic. You either were way jealous of Ashley and Alena, or in awe of their talents, or in fear of them. Now she was part of the team! She hoped she could live up to it. " Okay, what's the plan?" Alena grinned, and Audrey felt another chill, that she tried to relax. She was safe, they weren't cruel enough to go back on her. Right?

He mind felt fuzzy when Alena grabbed her arm and led her over to the tree. She felt very bouncy, she wanted to paint ball some one! Paint ball! MYES! Paint ball! Paint... ball! What- What? Was Alena talking to her?  
" Ashley. Listen to me."  
" Myes?"  
" You know Audrey?" She showed Ashley a brown-haired girl.  
" Human. Yes." She bobbed her head vigorously.  
Alena groaned and whispered to Audrey " She's not usually like that." Audrey nodded.  
" Right. Do you think you can listen for just a minute? We're doing our paint ball plan." PAINT BALL?  
" Listening! Yes! Plan! Shoot!" She bounced up and down.  
" Normally she speaks in complete sentences."  
" Okay."  
Ashley huffed, annoyed. Couldn't they see there were balls to be painted... oh wait. That sounded dirtier she meant to... good thing she didn't say that out loud!  
"Painted balls?!"  
Maybe she had said it out loud.

Alena looked at her friend and shook her head. After paint ball ( in which they had coated Brittany's gang with paint), they had come back to the cabins to prepare for the hiking trip. Ashley had evidently reached her sugar crash, and passed out on her bunk. At least she didn't snore. Alena, being the wonderful friend she was, began to pack Ashley's bag. Sheesh. She didn't know this much camping stuff existed in the world! Audrey had quickly packed her own bag and was staring at Alena and Ashley in a way that made her rather uncomfortable. Her thoughts were cut off by a cry of  
" BAD MUTANT MONKEYS, BAD!"  
Dangit, she told them to stay put!

A/N New sidekick! Say hi to Audrey Brianna Mckenzie!  
Sorry for the gap in updates , I've been shuffled around because of my folk's separation and without internet. But I have had my Text Edit so I've been writing a lot! So lots of updates today!


	10. sort of  Deleted Scene!

They were on the bus to the camping site when Ashley Magnus got a novel idea. A sing along!  
* ten minutes later! *  
" THREE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY NINE AND A HALF BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! A WHOLE LOTTA BOTTLES OF BEER! YOU TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT ROUND, I FORGOT HOW MANY BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!" Ashley and Alena felt very drunk as they bellowed the song around with a few other girl scouts. It very much annoyed Petunia Smith, which made them quite pleased.  
Petunia Smith was the model Girl Scout. She had a badge in everything, had been a girl Scout ever since she was old enough for Daisy Scouts, and she had been on every Camping trip, Hiking trip, Swimming trip, and Bathroom trip. But, she was very persnickety and felt everything had to be done by the book, which badly annoyed Alena and Ashley who loved to improvise. She sat very primly at the front of the bus, and with a sniff turned around and said sarcastically,  
" Continue like that and we won't have to worry about bears! They'll all high-tail it to the next state to get away from the wretched singing! "  
" Wretched singing? Does that mean you're going to join in Tuney?"  
" It's PETUNIA Ashley! And no, I'm going to be busy chopped firewood and setting up my tent, while you all are bumbling around and hopefully getting eaten by bears!"  
" How about you say that when a counselor is on board?" ( Said counselor had gotten of at rest stop to help clean off a kid who had puled all over themselves. It had been quite an event.)  
Petunia opened and closed her mouth a few times, before huffing and turning back to her book. Alena and Ashley quietly high fived triumphantly.

A/N Sorry about my past ANs being so crazy. Life has been crazy.

This isn't so much of a deleted scene, as a file lost forever and then recovered, but too late to put in the story. I guess if you really like Petunia, review and say and she might go into the story. Maybe. :)

Happy memorial day.


End file.
